For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
This verse from Jeremiah hangs over my son’s crib; an image that I wasn’t sure I would ever see five years ago. To lose a pregnancy is not uncommon. I did not know that. Even the doctor told us that after losing our first one. Although it was devastating, we thought we would just try again and that one would be healthy. Nope. After losing four natural pregnancies and going through three rounds of IVF, we now have the biggest blessing of our lives – a baby boy who was 100% worth the wait (people told me I would feel that way one day, but you don’t believe them during the heartache you’re enduring). Before our miscarriages, I didn’t have a relationship with God. I didn’t grow up in church, but faith was always something I was curious about. The heartache of pregnancy loss brought me to the Lord. After years of learning to trust Him, I finally handed it over to Him, I finally realized it is His plan, not mine. I struggled with IVF at first – “are we trying to play God?,” I would wonder about. I prayed for a feeling of peace to know we were making the right decision and that He was OK with it. Through the years I grieved, I was mad and sad mostly, but once I truly put my feelings aside and trusted the Lord’s plan, He truly blessed us. So here is my advice to you…trust in the Lord’s plan. He doesn’t want to harm us or punish us. Enjoy your marriage. Infertility can take its toll on relationships, but work to not let it. Know that it is OK to feel mad, sad, and jealous. But don’t let those feelings swallow you up. Allow yourself to grieve and then move on. And know this, we are praying for your sweet baby to hopefully make his/her appearance soon. Please feel free to reach out me or read my blog on our experience: www.thejourneytobabyb.blogspot.com.