September 26, 2024
For the past couple of weeks I have been meeting on Sunday afternoons with about 60 people from our church to move through a study called The After Party. We are examining the role that politics plays in our spiritual lives, but the group is not focused on “this is how Christians should vote.” Instead, it is focused on our discipleship and is asking questions like, “Where do you place your hope?”
One of the joys I get to experience is to simply sit back and listen as the room fills with the noise of lively conversation around the tables. I hear laughter, knowing sighs, and passionate dialogue about what we value most.
I have also heard from some people about how it has caused them to examine some of the broken relationships that exist in their lives because of deep disagreements. During Session 1, I shared a prayer with everyone from Every Moment Holy, Volume III: The Work of the People.
A Liturgy When Someone You Love Believes Different Than You
by Liz Snell
You have formed us for fellowship, O Lord,
for journeying beside and partaking in the joys
and sorrows of the ones we love.
Yet now I feel a rift in such fellowship
with one I have long held dear,
as our beliefs have unexpectedly diverged.
What once seemed foundational and permanent
in our bond is shaken and cracked;
gone is the comfort and ease we once shared.
Now I bear this growing ache of separation,
since what matters so much to me conflicts
with what matters so much to my loved one.
I am lost and confused.
I do not understand how they could reject
what seems so good to me, so evident.
O Lord, I long for peace
in this strained relationship.
At times my urge is to foster a false harmony
through silence or by pretending to agree,
diluting my beliefs to ease
this tension that broods over us.
I am tempted to take that easy route,
for to walk different paths,
yet to love each other well,
feels impossible.
But Jesus, you entered the tumult of this world
to reconcile even your enemies to you.
So may I actively engage rather than avoid.
May I listen for what words you might have me
say and risk speaking when you ask me to
be brave. Let me embody your care by pressing
in, knowing you can use even my awkward
attempts at truth and honesty when
they are offered in love.
When I feel judged or attacked, I want to
tighten my arguments to prove I am right and
protect myself from pain. Anger beckons me
toward self-righteousness; I lose empathy and
cannot see the other as they are. In such times
may your Spirit lead me back to gentleness,
secure in my identity in you, our servant King.
Though it may grate against my pride,
make me willing to consider where I might
be in the wrong. Give me clarity and conviction
to see where I have erred in my ideas,
where I have wrongly assumed I understood
another’s heart, or where I have dismissed
their position too easily. Let me admit my
uncertainties, welcoming questions as they
rise in me, examining my assumptions in the
light of your revealed word. Let me listen well,
speak from compassion rather than fear or
defensiveness, and quickly confess where I have
failed to love as you have called me to do.
Lord, help me seek to understand
more than I seek to be understood.
Remind me that this person I have loved
so long is not now my enemy.
Whether they are right or wrong in their beliefs,
my path is to pray, not to condemn.
May I give no ground to our true enemy, who
seeks to choke out what is good and beautiful
and tangle us with hatred and dissent.
Keep my heart tender, yet strong
to forgive as you have forgiven me.
I am afraid for my loved one, O God,
for where their views may lead.
But you hold all that is unknown
and can see this person as they truly are.
How can I judge their hidden heart?
I cannot even understand all my own motives.
You love this person more than I ever could,
and so I give them back to you.
Their story is not mine.
You alone know their journey’s turns;
you alone can save and guide.
You have created them with such care and
delight, and I recall times of delight we once
shared, remembering how your image shone so
clearly in my loved one’s face.
Let me not attempt to force them now
into my own image, but teach me to trust
that you keep reaching out to them
even when I discern no immediate
evidence of your movements.
O God, you have brought this one I love into
my life. I wish that somehow we could walk
together unburdened and carefree.
But I receive even this difficult path
as your invitation to grow in faith and grace.
You will remain my joy, whatever comes of this
relationship. You are the one companion
who will always walk with me,
who lights the pathless way,
who alone can be my peace.
Amen.
